Jackie (ivdrips) wrote in interfaithunion,

ending pre-marital sex

Hi, I just joined. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We've been sexually active throughout the majority of our relationship, with promises of love, living together, and marriage. I go away for college, so I only see him every two weekends or so and talk on the phone... but this has been one hell of a winter break!! We are waiting for after my graduation in May for the real engagement.

He has gone soul searching for a few months, which was not easy to stick through because I wasn't sure how things were going to change, but he has kept me in mind throughout all of the decision-making. I went to a Protestant church when i was very young, but never understood why i was there, so i stopped going. Since then, I've been considered Atheist or Agnostic I suppose, but I'm still interested in knowing and understanding.

This past week he found the right faith and church for him. Orthodox Christian. I am so excited for his happiness but i just recently discovered that this change in faith also changes the sexual dynamics of our relationship. This hurts me so much, sex was what ultimately made me feel affectionate, attractive, and loved. He lead me to believe that our sexuality and attraction to one another was very important for our relationship. I feel like I've been twisted all around, but i still really do understand why this is so important to him. He said that he wants me to do this right, also, so we will be together celestially... if that's the word.

None of my friends fully support me as they think this is unfair to me, or I'm just not hearing what I want to hear. I don't think they fully understand his beliefs and why ending pre-marital sex (even thoughts) is so important to him, nor do they understand how much I really do love him. I'm absolutely not willing to leave him for this reason. So what I'm really looking for here are some words of support, even if you don't know me and i don't know you, it would mean so much to me... I need a reminder that I can be patient, and this will benefit me despite my non-religious beliefs. Help me tie a ribbon around my finger until it is replaced by a wedding band. Or should I literally do that?
thank you!
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