I have become very close friends with a devout Christian girl, for the past couple of months she has been on my mind the majority of the time, we both have very strong feelings for one another are both desperate to commit to the next step of being in an 'official' relationship. I was also brought up a Christian/Catholic, I have been in a catholic school for 16 years (3-19) been baptized, received first holy communion and I have a Christian mother but I slowly started loosing my faith during secondary school until it was completely lost at the age of 16. Because I am no longer a Christian her faith won't allow her to enter a relationship with me as she says "Every relationship I have must be open to marriage, and I cannot enter a relationship with an atheist, I have been brought up to believe that marriage should revolve around God....I am making a commitment to God"
I have been going through a rough period over the past month or so, my Doctor has diagnosed me with GAD (General anxiety Disorder) and I have been given medication for this and will be starting cognitive behavior therapy over the coming months. I have been slowly coming to terms with the fact that this girl (who I care about very much and vice verse) is more than likely the main trigger for this. More than anything I would love to be a Christian again, I love the faith, the community spirit, the people, the passion, the hope that comes with it and the girl who I could spend the rest of my life with, but I simply have no faith what so ever and no matter how hard I try to believe in God and religion I am unable to, I feel as if I am kidding myself and trying to cheat my mind into thinking something for my own personal comfort and desires. I am a man of science and lateral thinking with a hole in my soul that needs filling but I cannot choose to believe in something that I do not believe in. This evening I have decided to try and resist making contact with this girl for a while until I can clearly see what needs to be done (I have told her that I need some space because of my anxiety and she understands this). Maybe the emotional attachment I have for her along with my GAD and yearning for religion may fade the longer I refrain from making contact with her, in this case all my problems are miraculously solved, but this seems like wishful thinking and remains to be seen. Even if this does go away, a yearning for religion and GAD are both issues that are likely to come back repetitively throughout my life as I am still very young (not yet 20).
Any advice on the situation would be hugely appreciated or anyone who is going or has gone though similar problems it would very comforting to hear from you. Even writing about helps, talking about it to anyone would be hugely warming.
Over the past several years I have become very good friends with a Christian woman - an amazing Christian woman. We have mutual feelings toward each other and both desire a relationship with the other and there is amazing chemistry. Her beliefs, however, won't allow it. I grew up a Christian and lifestyle closely resembles that of a Christian so much so, in fact, that people generally will assume that I am a Christian.
Here is my query.
I am considering choosing the role of a Christian man in order to have her as my own. I can't foresee letting the opportunity to have such an amazing relationship slip away when all that would be required of myself is to play a role I already know and can play sufficiently. I will attempt to believe if it is within me , though I can't foresee that happening. If it fails I could simply go back to me as I am today. Would anyone else do the same or even consider doing the same? Should I or should I not? I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but I have to consider all of my options because this woman has a serious hold on me.
I am an atheist and have been for a long time and my girlfriend of 3 and a half years is a christian. She says that if I can't convert then we are done. I really love this girl though. We've talked marriage, kids, our future, everything. She knows I don't mind her being christian or raising our kids that way, but she says she can't be with me unless I convert, but as any atheist knows it's not really a decision. What can I do? Any help is greatly appreciated.
I am Christian and my boyfriend is Atheist. We have sat down and talked about our difference, we respect each others beliefs but the problem is my family. They are very strict Baptist and every time I talk to them lecture me about the choices I am making because I am with him and cannot understand why I will never pressure him or try to convert him. My family have decided to get involved and try to break us up because they fear I will convert because I don't practice how they want me too. This is now causing problems because we want to move in together. And others like he is now not welcomed in my parents house. My boyfriend even said that if it gets so bad he will "pretend" to be religious around them so we can be happy together. Any advice on how to get my family to accept him or just leave it alone?!?!? I don't want to have to choose between them....
Hi! I saw this online community and other peoples stories of how they are navigating this tough situation and figured i should should try to get on here and see if anyone could help me, honestly i dont really know where to turn. My boyfriend and i have been dating for almost 4 years and we both feel that we want to be with eachother for the rest of our lives and we love eachother very much. Financially though we arn't ready for marriage, I don't even have to money to move in with him yet. And the problem is that he feels because we have reached the commitment level of marriage we should have sex. I want to wait since im christian, he understands this but at the same time he doesnt because of his beliefs and they way he was raised, he sees marriage as just the legal side and i of course see it a commitment to God as well. I also believe that there is a good reason for that rule, even if remains not completely seen because i have faith. But this whole concept is not clear to him because of his past. Now because ive said no he feels like i don't love him as much as he loves me. I told him thats not true at all and he still doesn't believe me. From what he knows sex is the only way to show that so i don't know how to show him I love him that much without compromising my beliefs. What should I do to get him to believe me?
I am a Christian who has in a relationship with a Jehova Witness. As some may know they have a very unorthodox religion. I had no issues with his believes up until the time of my birthday when he treated it as if it were just another day. I've always celebrated my birthday and so this hurt me very much and I was quite upset. They do not vote, they do not celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas nor Valentines Day and to be honest with you the reasoning he gave me as to why they don't logically to me don't make any sense. I respect his believes but I do not share them. Can two different religions intertwine? The relationship you have with God is a spiritual and personal one and you should not have to compromise it to be with someone. To me you both can respect each other and have a discussion on this topic since it is very important to both of you and how you would like the relationship to go. I love him very much and I really don't want to see the relationship end over this. We have not spoken in about a week as we had a major argument over it. Somtimes religion can be divisive and I know what it is like to love someone unconditionally. JWs consider themselves to be christians but their believes are very much different. What is your take on this?
Hi I'm an orthodox christian and I have been dating my girlfriend for nearly two years now. She is a baptised catholic but only by name and she is not religious at all. I love her so much. With everything I have. But for me to marry her, I would like her to become an orthodox christian and a bit more religious...but i dont want her to become religious for me, I want her to do it for herself. She told me that she's not ready for religion at the moment and she's scared to try because if she doesn't like it she fears (and so do I) that it will be the end of our relationship. This problem has made me feel very insecure about our relationship together and I keep worrying that she might leave me even though she loves me and cares for me very much. Does anyone have advice?
Hi, I just joined. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We've been sexually active throughout the majority of our relationship, with promises of love, living together, and marriage. I go away for college, so I only see him every two weekends or so and talk on the phone... but this has been one hell of a winter break!! We are waiting for after my graduation in May for the real engagement.
He has gone soul searching for a few months, which was not easy to stick through because I wasn't sure how things were going to change, but he has kept me in mind throughout all of the decision-making. I went to a Protestant church when i was very young, but never understood why i was there, so i stopped going. Since then, I've been considered Atheist or Agnostic I suppose, but I'm still interested in knowing and understanding.
This past week he found the right faith and church for him. Orthodox Christian. I am so excited for his happiness but i just recently discovered that this change in faith also changes the sexual dynamics of our relationship. This hurts me so much, sex was what ultimately made me feel affectionate, attractive, and loved. He lead me to believe that our sexuality and attraction to one another was very important for our relationship. I feel like I've been twisted all around, but i still really do understand why this is so important to him. He said that he wants me to do this right, also, so we will be together celestially... if that's the word.
None of my friends fully support me as they think this is unfair to me, or I'm just not hearing what I want to hear. I don't think they fully understand his beliefs and why ending pre-marital sex (even thoughts) is so important to him, nor do they understand how much I really do love him. I'm absolutely not willing to leave him for this reason. So what I'm really looking for here are some words of support, even if you don't know me and i don't know you, it would mean so much to me... I need a reminder that I can be patient, and this will benefit me despite my non-religious beliefs. Help me tie a ribbon around my finger until it is replaced by a wedding band. Or should I literally do that? thank you!
I am entirely new to this community but I am so glad I found it seeing as I've a problem no one around me seems to be able to help me with.
Religion is killing my relationship.
I love my boyfriend quite a bit, and we went through hell to be together. But right after we decided to make our relationship official, him, feeling lost and confused due to all the issues he went through during the summer, joined a very devout group of practicing Christians. He went from being an atheist/agnostic who was entirely philosophical in his view of the world, and accepting, to going to church 3 to 4 times a week, studying nonstop from a Bible, quoting scripture at me, praying constantly...
I am a person who believes there is magic in this world, something beyond human hands. I do NOT believe in a god however, nor do I believe in Christianity in the least. if anything I am pagan.
Here is where I get lost. I don't know if what my boyfriend is going through right now is a bit like a phase. Such as, he may remain Christian for the rest of his time on this earth, which doesn't bother me so much, but it'll be less "everything his is". Maybe right now it's just so new and his friends are so devout that it's consuming him and soon it'll die down a little? Or is this a forever, obsessive thing?
We are perfectly fine together except when it comes to the topic of religion. Then we break down and argue because neither one of us understands the other. When I try to ignore that he is Christian and try to focus on the fact that he is more than that, that he is the man I love, he becomes angry that I seem so passive and that I'm shutting him out...but when I focus on it, he says I just snap at him and belittle him. Can I win?
I can't convert. Ever. My past and beliefs will not allow that kind of compromise. And neither can he go back to disbelief and skepticism. In this issue, me and my boyfriend find ourselves entirely at an impasse. Is there a way beyond this? Is there a way to come together despite this divide? Or will this be our breaking point?
Thank you, any and all of you, for any help you can provide. I'm just so confused and hurt right now. Any advice on how we can get beyond this is appreciated. I don't want to give up...but if there is no alternative...