I have been going through a rough period over the past month or so, my Doctor has diagnosed me with GAD (General anxiety Disorder) and I have been given medication for this and will be starting cognitive behavior therapy over the coming months. I have been slowly coming to terms with the fact that this girl (who I care about very much and vice verse) is more than likely the main trigger for this. More than anything I would love to be a Christian again, I love the faith, the community spirit, the people, the passion, the hope that comes with it and the girl who I could spend the rest of my life with, but I simply have no faith what so ever and no matter how hard I try to believe in God and religion I am unable to, I feel as if I am kidding myself and trying to cheat my mind into thinking something for my own personal comfort and desires. I am a man of science and lateral thinking with a hole in my soul that needs filling but I cannot choose to believe in something that I do not believe in. This evening I have decided to try and resist making contact with this girl for a while until I can clearly see what needs to be done (I have told her that I need some space because of my anxiety and she understands this). Maybe the emotional attachment I have for her along with my GAD and yearning for religion may fade the longer I refrain from making contact with her, in this case all my problems are miraculously solved, but this seems like wishful thinking and remains to be seen. Even if this does go away, a yearning for religion and GAD are both issues that are likely to come back repetitively throughout my life as I am still very young (not yet 20).
Any advice on the situation would be hugely appreciated or anyone who is going or has gone though similar problems it would very comforting to hear from you. Even writing about helps, talking about it to anyone would be hugely warming.