1purple1 (1purple1) wrote in interfaithunion,

Chrsitian/Atheist Relationship

I am Christian and my boyfriend is Atheist. We have sat down and talked about our difference, we respect each others beliefs but the problem is my family. They are very strict Baptist and every time I talk to them lecture me about the choices I am making because I am with him and cannot understand why I will never pressure him or try to convert him. My family have decided to get involved and try to break us up because they fear I will convert because I don't practice how they want me too. This is now causing problems because we want to move in together. And others like he is now not welcomed in my parents house. My boyfriend even said that if it gets so bad he will "pretend" to be religious around them so we can be happy together. Any advice on how to get my family to accept him or just leave it alone?!?!? I don't want to have to choose between them....
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January 27 2013, 03:00:10 UTC 4 years ago Edited:  January 27 2013, 03:02:00 UTC

I was in his shoes years ago. We chose to move forward and get married. His family pressured me the entire time and I put on a religious charade to keep them at bay. Eventually I couldn't play pretend anymore as we began to focus on children. The religious differences we had between us finally met its match as I did not want our child to be a Christian. This caused a downward spiral. I was tired of living a lie, and he became well aware that our future was not so smooth. It was one thing for me to lie to the world about my lack of beliefs, but to force a child into a type of world I could not agree with or accept and vice versa for him. Atheist vs Religious regardless of which religion, is one of the toughest interfaith relationships, as they share only minimal commonalities.

My suggestion to you is if you don't choose and want both to be all happy happy, what exactly does the future hold as far as kids, marriage? And the lie he may promise to portray could become the nail in coffin in the distant future. Devout people are hard to change as their beliefs stem so deep into their roots, they may never accept him for who he is, and may no longer accept you, so you need to decide how you can live with that outcome, is he worth that possibility?

good luck
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