poeticheartache (poeticheartache) wrote in interfaithunion,
poeticheartache
poeticheartache
interfaithunion

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Hello!

I am entirely new to this community but I am so glad I found it seeing as I've a problem no one around me seems to be able to help me with.

Religion is killing my relationship.

I love my boyfriend quite a bit, and we went through hell to be together. But right after we decided to make our relationship official, him, feeling lost and confused due to all the issues he went through during the summer, joined a very devout group of practicing Christians. He went from being an atheist/agnostic who was entirely philosophical in his view of the world, and accepting, to going to church 3 to 4 times a week, studying nonstop from a Bible, quoting scripture at me, praying constantly...

I am a person who believes there is magic in this world, something beyond human hands. I do NOT believe in a god however, nor do I believe in Christianity in the least. if anything I am pagan.

Here is where I get lost. I don't know if what my boyfriend is going through right now is a bit like a phase. Such as, he may remain Christian for the rest of his time on this earth, which doesn't bother me so much, but it'll be less "everything his is". Maybe right now it's just so new and his friends are so devout that it's consuming him and soon it'll die down a little? Or is this a forever, obsessive thing?

We are perfectly fine together except when it comes to the topic of religion. Then we break down and argue because neither one of us understands the other. When I try to ignore that he is Christian and try to focus on the fact that he is more than that, that he is the man I love, he becomes angry that I seem so passive and that I'm shutting him out...but when I focus on it, he says I just snap at him and belittle him. Can I win?

I can't convert. Ever. My past and beliefs will not allow that kind of compromise. And neither can he go back to disbelief and skepticism. In this issue, me and my boyfriend find ourselves entirely at an impasse. Is there a way beyond this? Is there a way to come together despite this divide? Or will this be our breaking point?

Thank you, any and all of you, for any help you can provide. I'm just so confused and hurt right now. Any advice on how we can get beyond this is appreciated. I don't want to give up...but if there is no alternative...

-Caitlin
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